The dead return to life, infect people, spread their nasty disease. You run for your life . . . or walk quickly depending on whether they are Romero’s shambling undead or the new, upgraded sprinting model. Sounds horrible, doesn’t it? Well, you’re just not looking at the bright side. Let’s see what good things can come from the inevitable zombie uprising.
Number 1 – You no longer need to worry about paying your credit card bills or your mortgage on time. I have it on good authority that zombies will go after creditors first, followed immediately by a buffet of all those people who are ‘holding you down’ followed with a dessert of your boss, who is probably one of those people holding you down.
Number 2 – The cost of housing will plummet. When there aren’t any more of those pesky people filling up all those fancy houses, you can have your pick of living quarters. Don’t worry about working hard; good things come to those who loot.
Number 3 – Reinvent yourself! Sure, you work in a cube now, but the other survivors don’t need to know about your former life. Be careful not to claim that you were a sharpshooter on SWAT, the explosives guy on ANY Michael Bay film, or anything like that – people will expect you to live up to your invented reputation when the hordes of undead start breaking down your shelter. See, you don’t have to try to live an interesting life now. Just wait for the zombies and then create one.
Number 4 – Tired of updating your status on Facebook, twitter, LinkedIn, Myspace (are people still there), and every other social networking site known to humankind? Well, running from zombies is a good excuse to skip a few posts.
Number 5 – No more sparkling vampires. Nothing more really needs to be said about that.
I’m sure others have listed all the great things about the coming zombie apocalypse. This is my take. What have I missed?
